


Professor

by CainYouTube



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Female Character, Canon Bisexual Character, Domestic Violence, M/M, NSFW, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-03
Updated: 2015-06-04
Packaged: 2018-04-02 16:48:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4067335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CainYouTube/pseuds/CainYouTube
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel Novak, a romantic literature professor at The University of Kansas who is adored by everyone. However, Castiel has a dark past that only Meg Masters and his siblings, Balthazar, Anna and Gabriel know about. When Dean Winchester walks into his classroom will he be able to face his past?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. College

Established in 1865, The University of Kansas is a public research university and the largest in the U.S. state of Kansas occupying on over 1,100 acres of land and having 26,968 students attend. The campus appears to be the size of a small town; everywhere was a student parking spot. The University of Kansas is home of the Jayhawk, a mythical bird with a fascinating history; the name combines two birds-the blue jay, a noisy, quarrelsome thing known to rob other nests, and the sparrow hawk, a stealthy hunter. During the 1850s, the Kansas Territory was filled with such Jayhawks. The area was a battleground between those wanting a state where slavery would be legal and those committed to a Free State. The factions looted, sacked, rustled cattle, stole horses, and otherwise attacked each other's settlements. For a time, ruffians on both sides were called Jayhawkers. But the name stuck to the Free states. Lawrence, where KU would be founded, was a Free State stronghold.

"Professor! Professor Maters! W-wait!"

"Hmm?" Meg turned around to see a couple of girls running up to her in a hurry. 

If the students didn't know better they would have mistaken Professor Masters as student. Meg Masters looked no older than 27, she had dark wavy brown hair and eyes with bright red lipstick. She wore a purple tie-dye blouse under a black leather jacket with black skinny jeans and light purple Diesel Hi-Travis heels. 

"Is it true?! They yelled out as they made their way to her. 

Meg frowned, placing her hands on her hips. "Is what true?" 

The girls' faces grew bright red as they avoided eye contacted with her. 

"Um...W-well...we heard a rumor t-that...Novak...Professor Novak be working with you this semester in romantic literature." 

Meg gave a suggestive smile, arching her eyebrow. 

"Is that so? I guess we will find out when you come to class on Monday."

The girls faces lit up as they looked at each other and giggled.

"Oh my GOD, we can't wait! Thank you Professor!" 

Meg turned around as they wondered away, their giggling fading in the distance. She notices someone leaning behind a tree, raven black hair peeking out. 

"Hiding is a little bit childish, don't you think?" She teased as Castiel stepped out with a smile on his lips.

"Hello, Meg." Castiel was wearing a wool blend brown tweed waistcoat vest, white button-up underneath with the sleeves rolled up and finished with a pair of dark blue jeans, dark red tie, and black aviators. 

Castiel's smile grew as he walked next to her, handing her a cup of coffee. 

"I've just hear the most interesting rumor Clarence." She eyed him playful as she took a sip of her coffee. 

"Oh? And what did this rumor entail? He asks while playfully bumping into her.

"Oh just that a certain Professor is going to be joining me this semester in Romantic Literature, I'm guessing that was you Castiel." She nodded her head his way as they walked. 

He didn't respond, he just looked straight ahead and kept smiling. 

"Why are you so sweet on me, Clarence?" she asks, fluttering her eyes. 

"Oh, I don't know, I think your class is going to be too big for you to handle" He joked as he smiled at the passing female students; the girls blushed and giggled among themselves. 

Meg smirked, winking at him. "You really do know how to make a girl's nethers quiver, don't you?" 

Castiel rolled his eyes. "I am aware of how to do that." 

They both laugh at that. Castiel was eye candy for the female students and faculty, they adored him and Meg knew her class was about to double in size in females once he starts teaching with her with on Monday. 

However, there was something that she knew that they will never know and that was behind that sweet smile; Castiel Novak had a dark past. Meg's smile died as she thought about it; she discovered that Castiel had an interest in both men and women when she dated him in college, which wasn't a big deal to her. However, the night he told her that he was bisexual, he also told his family, hoping they would take it as well as Meg did. Some members in Castiel's family welcomed him with opened arms him like Balthazar, Anna, and Gabriel; but most of them disapproved of his sexuality when he told them; especially his cousin Uriel and Naomi. Castiel was beaten right in front of Meg by Uriel in a fit of rage that only stopped once Balthazar and Gabriel stepped in while Anna took Castiel to the hospital. That was a very ugly time in their lives; she can still remember sleeping in the waiting room late in the morning with Anna, Balthazar, and Gabriel while Castiel was in recovery. The next day they were finally able to see him; his face was bruised, lower lip busted, right arm and noised broken, yet he stilled smiled. Anna cried and asked him why he didn't fight back, why he lied to the hospital about how he got his injuries, but Castiel refused to acknowledge what happen. He was in complete denial that he was a victim of a hate crime by his family. When Meg returned to the hospital the next day she discovered that Castiel had left A.M.A (Against Medical Advice), she tried to call his cell but it was no longer in service, then tried Balthazar's and Gabriel's, same thing. Then she received a text from an unknown number that read: 

_Meg, Castiel is going to be okay. The doctors said that he should make a full recovery in a few months. I'm sorry that you had to witness what you did last night. But I want you to know that he is in good hands, Balthazar, Gabriel and I are furious about how our family "handled" the situation and we have decided to cut ourselves and Castiel off from the family. I'm sorry. But please for now, don't look for us. -Anna._

Meg quickly called the number but it was also out of service. Her phone dropped to the floor as she bolted out of the hospital, hoping into her car driving to Castiel's apartment. Once she got there she banged on the door over and over until her hand started to bleed.

"Castiel! Castiel! Castiel!" Tears running down her cheeks as the apartment remind quite, she couldn't remember how long she was banging on the door, shouting his name. 

She finally stopped once she notices that the door was starting to stain with her blood. Dropping to her knees she lean against his door, hitting the back of her head lightly.

"Castiel..." She choked out as she pulled a picture of him out of her wallet and clung onto it like her life depended on it.

As years went by, Meg had to change her phone number and moved because Castiel family wouldn't stop harassing her about were Castiel was hiding. She moved to Lawrence, Kansas and finished school and got her PhD in literature. Meg went out to Harvelle's Roadhouse one night to celebrate her graduation, enjoying her drink she let her eyes wonder around the room until a familiar voice caught her attention, she knew that voice anywhere, but could it be possible? Her eyes scan the room until she found were it came from. It came from table that had three men one with brown hair, the other with dirty blonde.

_Balthazar? Gabriel?_

Her eyes widened when she settled on the third man with black hair.

"C-Castiel...?" Her voice felt dry when his name escaped her lips, could it really be him? After all these years?

Her body started moving on its own as she approached the table. Balthazar eyes widen when Meg reach their table.

"Oh my GOD..." Confused, Castiel fallowed Balthazar's eyes and froze. 

_Meg._ His brain screamed at him.

"Remember me? I sure remember you Clearance" She smiled, crossing her arms across her chest.

"Hello, Earth to Meg" Castiel waved his hand in front of her, snapping her back to the present. 

"No, wait what?" Castiel laughed, placing his hands on her cheek.

"Where did you go?" Meg leans into his touch, her expression pained as she avoided his gaze.

"That night…" she whispered. 

Castiel's smiled died and his eyebrows furrow at the comment. "Meg that belongs in the past, we don't need to dwell on that…"

She returned her gaze, looking at his sullen face. She could tell that he wanted to drop the conversation; even after all these years he was still refuses to talk about it.

"So Clearance, I was thinking since that you're going to be in my class that you can come up with the books list for the students, but I must warn you my minimum is ten books." She narrowed her eyes and gave an unconvincing grin. Castiel's fixed grave expression broke as he rolled his eyes and smiled.

"Wow Meg, ten books? I'm glad I didn't have you when I went to school."

They both laugh as they reached Meg's car.

"Okay, Clearance I will see you Monday. Make sure you do you _homework_ this weekend" She smiled as she turned to unlock her car, when she was suddenly whipped around by strong arms facing Castiel, his expression serious. 

"Meg…" Her eyes widened as she felt his lips on her forehead. 

"Thank you; you're a good friend…" He whispered.


	2. First meeting

Castiel stopped by Harvelle's Roadhouse to have a couple of drinks before he went home, it was Friday and Meg had already assigned him homework. He laughed as he pulls out his laptop from his bag and placed it on the table. He loosens his tie as he takes a sip of his beer before typing away on computer.

"Can I get you anything else, professor?" Castiel looked up to see Jo Harvelle.

She was one of his students last fall. She had light wavy blond hair and dark brown eyes; she was wearing a black tank top and blue jeans with an apron tie around her waist. 

Castiel smiled at her, "Jo I've told you, you don't have to call me professor anymore, Castiel is fine." Jo chuckled at the comment.

"Okay "Castiel"; can I get you anything else?" She had a nice smile; he's always liked her smile. 

"Another beer would be wonderful." 

"Alright, one beer coming up." He smiled as he watched her walk towards the bar, grab a beer and return. 

He alternated between typing and taking sips of his beer, he was making a list of books that Meg requested; finally picking his top ten: Frankenstein by Mary Shelley, Dracula by Bram Stoker, Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare, The Raven by Edgar Allan Poe, The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne, Les Misérables by Victor Hugo, The Marriage of Heaven and Hell by William Blake, Moby-Dick by Herman Melville, The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas, and The Hunchback of Notre-Dame by Victor Hugo. He smiled, pleased with his choices, knowing damn well that Meg will give him some heartache about his choice of Romeo and Juliet. 

"Hey Winchesters!" Castiel looked up to see Jo and Ellen waving at two men.

The tall one had medium long brown hair and wore a white and blue plaid button up shirt with blue jeans while the shorter one had short-cropped dirty blond hair and wore a gray t-shirt with black jeans. He couldn't make out what they were saying but he notices Jo pointing in his direction with a big grin on her face, he cocked his head to the side wondering why on GOD's green earth would she be pointing at him. The men turned their heads towards his direction, the shorter one lifting his beer to him like a silent hello, while the taller one just smiled. Castiel awkwardly lifted his beer and smiled becoming more confused by the minute. The taller one return to talk to Jo while the short one just kept looking at Castiel, this made him feel uneasy. He tried to distract himself by returning his gaze to his computer screen; he alternated between pretending to be doing something and returning his gaze to the dirty blond. He was still staring. What was this guy's problem? His look wasn't threatening nor friendly, it seem more like he was trying to figure out who Castiel was. He decided that he stayed at The Roadhouse long enough and the ride home was at least four hours. Once he finished putting away his laptop he wave goodbye to Jo and Ellen at the bar with the strangers and made his way out of the bar. As soon as Castiel left; the dirty blond turned to Jo, pointing his thumb over his shoulder. 

"So Jo, tell me about Mr. Blue eyes there who just left."

Jo smiled, rolling her eyes "Oh let me tell you about Mr. Blue eyes, Dean."

͠ 

It was a long drive back to Lawrence; Castiel didn't get to his apartment until 5 A.M both his brothers long asleep. He shut the door quietly to not wake them as he tipped toed towards his room. Once inside he kicked off his shoes and stripped off his clothing, exposing his large black wings tattooed on his back. Castiel threw himself on his bed letting out a long deep sigh as he stared up to the ceiling. 

"Who was that man?" He whispered to himself as he closed his eyes. 

He thought about how green his eyes were and how his shirt clung to his chest in all the right places and those lips, oh how he want to jus-

 _No Castiel! No more madness!_ Hester's voice screamed at him in his mind followed by the sound of someone getting hit. 

Castiel's eyes flew open, his eyebrows furrow as he balled his fist in his sheets. His breath short and fast, he looked around the room trying to find any evidence of Hester's presents, there was none; it was just in his head, it was just his past trying to claw itself back into his life. He took a deep breath and laid his head back down on his pillow, closing his eyes.

͠ 

"Cassie ~~~~~!" Gabriel slumped over onto Castiel and rolled back and forth, pouting his lips.

Castiel turned his head to the side and peeked at his clock; it read 8 A.M. His first class with Meg started in three hours.

"Go back to bed Gabriel..." Castiel muttered into the pillow not moving. 

"I wish I could Cassie, but the suns awake, so I'm awake, so you have to make breakfast."

There was awkward silence as Gabriel waited for Castiel to say something; he couldn't hold back a smile as he shoved Gabriel off the bed.

"And they say I'm the little brother" He laughed, making his way to the bathroom to take a shower. 

Once finished he changed into a wool blend black tweed waistcoat vest, gray button-up underneath with the sleeves rolled up and finished with a pair of dark blue jeans, and a dark blue tie. Monday came quicker then he would have like, he frowned as he pours the pancake mix in the pan. "

What's the matter Castiel, darling? Trying to figure out how many hearts you're going to melt in your lecture today?" Balthazar teased as he wiped the syrup from his lips.

"Well he wouldn't be a very good literary professor if he couldn't melt hearts in romantic literature" Gabriel joked with a mouth full of pancakes. 

Castiel leaned against the counter and crossed his arms and smiled, looking at Balthazar then Gabriel. 

"I'm sorry am I getting lectured by an art professor and a mythologist professor?" Gabriel and Balthazar both made fake hurt faces.

"But Cassie we would have been romantic literature professors too if you and Meg didn't beat us to it first." Castiel rolled his eyes when they burst out laughing. 

All three brothers taught at the same college as Meg, it was never their plan to all be professors it just happened that way. But boy did the students; especially the female students love them. He could still remember when a student found out that they were all related, he never seen so many phones light up and vibrate all at once in his class. Balthazar and Gabriel's classes didn't start till later that afternoon so Castiel said his goodbyes to his brothers as he hopped into his Jubilee Gold '78 Lincoln Continental Mark V.

Once he arrived to the collage he was greeted by his colleague Crowley MacLeod a business law professor who smiled and shook his head as Castiel step out the vehicle.

"Really, what are you, a pimp?" Castiel rolled his eyes, and then looked over his car. 

"I like it." 

Crowley had short brown hair and brown eyes, he was a foot shorter then Castiel, he wore a black slim fit suit with a black dress shirt underneath; finished with a gray floral embroidery tie. Castiel didn't like him too much at first, but he was starting to grown him. He had recently started messing with Castiel, just randomly talking to him though out the day; making the strangest statements, like once he randomly came up to him and Meg who were talking to a student confused and ask: 

"Castiel. When last we spoke, you, well, enslaved me. I'm confused. Why aren't you dead?" He kept the straightest face and narrows his eyes to the poor girl and told her,

"I, The King of Hell came here to help you. I've not only found out you've been lying to me, but harboring an angel, and not just _any_ angel - the one angel I most want to crush between my teeth." 

She didn't know how to respond so Meg stepped in.

"Oh, so you can crush angels now, huh?" She smirked and narrows her eyes at him. 

Castiel couldn't hold it back anymore and busted out laughing, he's never seen someone so scared and confused. The girl's face was bright red and she awkwardly walked away, laughing nervously. Karma was a bitch though, because ever since that day Castiel is now also known as _Angel_ and Crowley's was _The King of Hell_. They walked to the nearest coffee shop on campus; Crowley picks out a table while Castiel order three coffees at the counter. Once he got the coffees he sat at the table with him where a female student approached them. 

"P-Professor Novak" Castiel smiled.

"Yes Tara how can I help you?" Tara adverted her gaze looking at Crowley.

"Oh- I'm sorry I'm I interrupting…?" Crowley rolled his eyes. 

Castiel narrows his eyes at him then return his attention to the girl. "Tara, listen, my, uh... associate..." He started until Crowley corrected him.

"Friend. Besties, actually." 

For some reason this made her laugh a bit. Tara reached out and touched Castiel hand.

"I will just ask you in class." She smiled, blushing as she waved them goodbye. 

Once she was gone Crowley smirked at Castiel. 

"Oh Cas, such a flirt" Castiel rolled his eyes and smile as he felt his phone ringing.

"Hello?" 

"Castiel? Hey it's Meg; class is going to start soon. Where are you?" Castiel looked over at Crowley and made the quiet sign to him. 

"Meg, I'm just picking us up some coffee I'll be there soon." He ended the call before she could say anything else. 

Meg wasn't a fan of Crowley. Crowley leans against him playfully,

"You're lying to Meg like she's your wife, which kind of makes me your mistress." Castiel pushed him away with a smile on his face. 

"I wasn't lying, her coffee is right here." He held up the second coffee he bought as he made his way to the door.

"Anyway, I better be getting to class before she kills me, talk to you later _King of Hell_." 

Crowley held up his coffee towards Castiel as he left "I'll hold you to it, _Angle."_


	3. Dean Winchester

"Sammy, where are we going? I don't think I've ever been so lost." Dean narrows his eyes at the half-ass map the counselor made them, first turning it to the left then right; trying to make it out.

Sam rolled his eyes and snatches the map out of his hands, taking a look at it himself.

"Well, Dean maybe if you took the tour with me you wouldn't be." Dean slapped him on the back; hard. 

"Very funny, just lead the way." 

Sam gave him his bitch face. "Jerk." 

Dean return his bitch face with his own. "Bitch" 

Sam gave up and talked to the next human being that walked past them, who happen to be a couple. The girl had medium long brown hair with hazel eyes; she wore a brown jacket over a black and purple tank top with dark blue skinny jeans. The boy was tall and wore layers of clothes. He stood at about 6'0 to 6'1, with short dark blonde hair and strands of lighter blonde. 

"Excuse me; do ya'll know where room 223.45 building A is?" The girl's face lit up as a giant smile grew on her face. 

"That Professors Masters' room, everyone knows where that room is." The boy commented with annoyance in his voice. 

The girl punched him in the shoulder playfully. "Come on, don't be a hater." 

Sam and Dean both gave each other confused looks; they might have picked the wrong couple to ask. 

"Why is that?" Dean asked while looking as the annoyance grew on the guys face. 

"You see, Professor Novak is-" "BLUE EYE ANGEL! SO HOT!" They all turn their heads to a group of snickering girls as they walked by. 

"All the girls love this Professor Novak I see" Sam commented.

The guy snorted "You have no idea man." 

The girl waves another girl over. The girl had black hair that was half pulled back and brown eyes; she was wearing black glasses with red lip stick. Her overall outfit was black, a black blouse under a black blazer with black jeans, finished with red pump heels. 

"Cecily, are you going to Masters' class?" Cecily cocked her head to the side. 

"Hey there Ava, Adam, I'm heading there now, why?" Adam pointed to Sam and Dean. 

"These guys here are heading there too; do you think you can show them the way?" Cecily stuck out her hand and introduced herself. 

"Cecily, that shouldn't be problem, so first time on campus Mr...?" Dean shook her hand. 

"Call me Dean and this is my brother Sam" 

Adam wrapped his around Ava shoulder and waved at them. "Well Ava and I better get going, good luck finding a seat you two." With that the couple left.

Sam looked confused at the last comment "What did Adam mean by good luck finding a seat?" Cecily readjusted her glasses, looking back at them. 

"Well you see, our professor is Meg Masters, however; this year she got a huge classroom so Professor Novak decided to teach with her this year. Boy did that news spread like the plague, the class was filled within an hour, and luckily I was already signed up with Masters' so I didn't get my eyes clawed out. Anyway, Professor Novak is the perfect _eye candy_ ; he has perfect lips, dark raven hair that you just want to run your fingers threw, and GOD those heavenly blue eyes." 

Cecily bit her lower lip as she described Castiel, then her face became bright red when she hears Sam clear his throat. 

"A-Anyway the class is right here...oh dear..." The line to get into the classroom was ridiculous.

"Who waits in line to get into class?" Dean asked while running his hand threw his hair, frustrated with the situation. 

"Apparently Masters and Novak's students do." Sam noted; he has never seen so many people trying to get in on room before. 

Once they made it inside the room was huge, there were fifteen rows of long tables that ran alongside a single stair case. It was almost looked like a stadium. Sam and Dean notices a women with her feet propped up on the single desk in the middle of the room. 

"Who is that?" Dean asked Cecily. 

"That's Professor Masters" She answered as she waved them to follower her to three empty seats. 

"Kevin, Charlie, these seats taken?" Cecily ask as she pointed at the three empty seats. 

"First comes first serve, bitches." Charlie smiled and patted the empty seats next to her. 

"I'm Charlie and this little dork here is Kevin." Dean took a seat by Charlie while Sam sat next to him.

"I'm Dean and this is my brother Sam." 

Charlie had short red hair and wore an open blue hoodie over a princess Leia shirt, finished with blue jeans and headphones around her neck. Kevin had short black hair, he looked tired as hell, he must be a really study nut. He wore a black t-shirt with an open white and black plaid over shirt. 

Dean leans towards Sam as he looked around the room. "Damn, there is a shit load of people here." 

"Most of these people will drop this class." Kevin blurted out with a cocky smile on his lips.

Dean and Sam looked at him confused while Charlie laughs. 

"What my little friend here is trying to say is that, a lot of girls take this class because they want to see Castiel, but they fail to realize that Meg is a demon. She is one of the toughest professors on campus next to Professor MacLeod, _The King of Hell himself_." 

Dean interrupted her, that name sounded familiar to him. "Wait who is Castiel? Professor Novak?" 

She nod and continued on "I've heard even though Castiel is sweet he has..." Charlie eyes widen as she fell quite as so did the rest of the class when they heard what sounded like a violin being played. 

Meg lifted up her head to the direction of the noise and smirked, Castiel was leaning against the door fame that leads to Meg's office and was playing The Rains of Castamere on the violin. Dean looked where Meg was looking and he froze. It was the same guy from the bar on Friday. That's why the name sounded familiar, he recalls Jo mentioning a Castiel. He leans close to Charlie, whispering.

"Is that Castiel?" Charlie could only nod her head, until she finally found her voice.

"Yes, I didn't know he played..." Her voice was barely audible. 

Sam leans towards them, looking around the room as he whisper. "Judging from how the other students are acting, I don't think you're the only one who didn't know Charlie." 

Dean lean back in his seat and folded his arms across his chest. He knew the song, it was from Game of Thrones but the way Castiel played it, he made it his own. His version was much darker, filled with more sadness then what original melody. Once Castiel finished playing the whole room was so silent you could hear a pen drop. Dean looked around the room; the air was too thick and uncomfortable so he decided to break the awkwardness. 

"That Joffrey is a dick!" 

All the heads in the room turn to Dean, horror in their eyes like he just killed a dog. Then a laugh was heard, all heads moved to look at Castiel who had a big grin on his face as he points the bow at Dean.

"I'm glad someone was able to tell what I was playing. I'm sure if I played the intro everyone would have gotten it. What is his name?" By this time Meg had already gotten off her chair and stood beside Castiel. 

"Dean Winchester." Castiel eye twitch as he tried to keep his smile on. 

He narrows his eyes to try to get a better look. Winchester, could it be the same Winchester that was staring at him in the bar? He didn't realize that he had been staring at Dean for two minutes straight, not saying anything. 

"Castiel." Meg's voice broke his train of thought. 

"Yes?" He looked at her and smiled. 

She smirked and crossed her arms, turning to her class, arching a brow as she looks at Dean. 

"He's been like the naked guy at the rave ever since he woke up. Totally useless." She eyed Castiel as she returns her attention to him. 

Some students tried to muffle a laugh while others just kept staring. Castiel smiled at her as he looked at their students. 

"Will you look at her? My colleague. All of that thorny pain… So beautiful." Meg reached for his tie with her hand, pulling him close to her lips; inches from touching. 

"We've been over this. I don't like poetry. Put up or shut up." Then she pushes him lightly back, looking at her students with a demonic smile.

The crowed broke out in murmurs, some more audible then others like: _It's like the start of a Porno, she's so lucky, oh my GOD, this is hot, I didn't think they would take romantic literature so literal and, what is happening?_ Sam looked around the room; most of the girls were shifting in their seats as they bit their lower lips, panting lightly. 

Sam leans towards Dean. "I think I know why there are just as many guys here as girls, I bet once class is over these girls jump the closes guy because of how hot and bother they get." 

Dean looks around noticing the same thing as Sam, but he couldn't complain. What Meg and Castiel did was incredibly hot and even put some dirty thoughts in his head, but it wasn't about the two of them it was about him and Mr. Blue eyes there. He felt his jeans become tighter in the crotch region at the though. Dean palmed himself lightly, biting his lower lip trying to calm himself. 

"Interested?" Sam's voice startled him, bringing him back to reality. 

He looked at Castiel then back at his brother with a demonic smirk.

"Perhaps." Then Dean's smile died quickly. 

"But he's our professor, isn't that against the rules or something?" Dean leans over to Charlie and asks her,

"Is it against the rules to date professors?" Charlie looked confused, looking at Meg then back at Dean. 

"I'm not sure, if there is they are pretty quiet about it." 

Castiel and Meg broke out laughing, causing everyone to stop talking. 

"Now if only the romantic literature that we will be studying in class was like that." The room filled with _Huhs_ as Meg return to her desk, pulling out a huge stack of papers. 

Castiel straightens up his tie as he began talking to the class. "The romantic literature that we will be studying this semester will be filled with despair, hate, murder, sex, unrequited love, jealousy, suicide and sacrifice." 

Castiel continue on to tell the students about the ten books assignment that Meg assigns to them. So many groans. Dean was getting impatient; he wanted the class to end so he could find out the rule. Sam leans over to Dean, whispering.

"Do you think Castiel's gay?" Dean shook his head.

"No way, you saw how he was with Meg, he's probably straight. Bisexual if I'm lucky." Dean slouch in his chair, bummed out by the possibly of Castiel being straight. 

Dean was pretty open about his sexuality, he told Sammy that he was bisexual when he was a senior in high school, were he also learned that Sam was also bisexual but preferred women a little more. The next thing Dean knew class was over; this was his chance to ask. However, he notices a line of girls waiting to ask Castiel _questions_. 

"I think I know who you can ask." Sam stated as he looked past Dean.

He looks over his shoulder and sees Meg. 

"Evil bitch…" He whispers under his breath but it seemed like she heard.

"Keep sweet-talking me; this could go a whole new direction." She smirked, walking in front of him with her hands on her hips. 

Dean gave her a demonic smile. "Meg. I've been dying to talk to you." Dean notices Castiel sneaking looks at him while answering question, he seem curious in Meg and his conversation. 

Meg drags her finger down Dean's chest and eyes Castiel, her mischievous smirk growing even bigger. 

"Well, here I am, big boy. So what should we do now?" Dean follows her eyes and saw Castiel staring at them, his eyes glaring at Meg. 

Dean wanted to join in on this game too so he step closer to Meg, peaking at Castiel. 

"How 'bout I rip you to shreds?" He whispered. Meg places her lips close to his ear. 

"Kinky, I like. But a little Q n' A first if you don't mind. Why were you eye-fucking Clarence?"


	4. Scare

Castiel leaned against Meg's desk with his arms folded across his chest as he watched the remaining students leave the room. He sighed and ran his hand through his hair leaving his hair wild. He's never had so many people ask him if him and Meg were a couple, and the faces they made when he said they weren't, priceless. Meg came out of her office with a smirk on her face and a strut in her step. 

"You seem pleased." He commented with a hint of jealousy in his voice as he smiled. 

"Oh I am Clarence, you see I notice you eye-fucking your new boyfriend, Dean Winchester." Meg watched as his smiled dropped and his face became expressionless. 

"I don't know what you mean; I just thought I recognized him from somewhere that's all." She walked towards him and sat on her desk beside him; laying her head on his shoulder.

"Castiel, don't pretend you’re not attracted to him." It came out almost as a whishper, with a hint of sadness. Castiel didn't respond; he just laid his head on top of hers. He knew how she felt about him even after all they have been though, even if she didn't admit it. This must be just as hard for her as it was for him. He loved her yes, but not in the way that she wanted him too.

Meg wasn't wrong, he was attracted to him. He liked the way Dean's green eyes peaked at him throughout the whole lecture, he liked how Dean bit his lower lip when he saw how close Meg's lips were to Castiel's. He shifted unconformable, his face sad. What was he thinking he wasn't into guys, at least that's what he told himself; knowing damn well that was bullshit. The truth was he was afraid. Ever since that night with his family he didn't dare be with a man. He's fantasized, yes but he's never actually been with a man. Meg notices his body stiffen up as he started to get lost in his thoughts, he was about to panic, about to shut down like he did at the hospital; she pushes her body against his, forcing him to sway to the right, trying to comfort him in anyway. 

"You should ask him if he wants to have coffee with you sometime. It wouldn't hurt to get to know him and I'm pretty sure he's interested in you." Confused, he lifted his head and looked at her. 

"What do you mean? How do you know he's interested?" Laughing, Meg ran her fingers though his think black hair then moved her hand to his cheek. 

"Oh Clarence, It was written all over his face, plus he was practically undressing you with his eyes after our little stunt." Castiel blushed at the comment and chuckled. 

"How are we still professors, you would think we would've been fired by now." She rolled her eyes with a hint of sarcasm in her voice.

"I think it’s because the students secretly don't want it to end." They both laughed, leaning their heads together. 

"So." He whispered. 

"So?" She repeated. 

"What did you talk about with Dean Winchester when class ended; you guys seem pretty flirty with each other." Meg got off the desk and put her hands behind her back, smirking at him.

"Jealous Castiel?" He rolled his eyes, smiling. 

"He wanted to know about a certain school rule that might or might not involve you...” He cocked his head to the side, confusion in his voice.

"Rule? Me? I don't understand." Meg pulled out her phone and starting pushing numbers.

"He wanted to know if it was against the rules to date professors." Castiel's face turned two shades of red.

"Is that even allowed?" He asked, adverting his eyes. 

"It's frowned upon because some people think its unfair advantage, which I total agree, but hey it’s not against the rules. That reminds me, I'm supposed to 'text" him the answer after I find out." She peaked at Castiel who was slack-jawed.

"You have his number, how?” Meg looked up from her phone, smirking. 

“He gave it to me. You want it?” Castiel blushed hard and became quite, as he turned to pick up his bag and violin case. No he couldn’t give in this madness; it was unclean as Naomi would call it. 

“Clarence?” She watched him as he made his way out of the room, leaving her alone.

͠ 

Castiel took a deep breath as he leans his back against the railing outside his apartment; tilting his head back he looked up at the sky, the sun was setting; black bleeding into the orange as the night consumed the sky. He shouldn’t have left Meg alone like that, it was inappropriate, he thought. He lifted one of his legs and his body lean more over the railing, dark thoughts running tough his mind. How easy it would be to just fall.

“Castiel?” Balthazar voice came as a whisper filled with anxiety.

Castiel didn’t move, he didn’t continue nor retreat. He hears as Balthazar make hesitant steps towards him. Castiel voice was emotionless when he spoke.

“You know Balthazar; they tell us that suicide is the greatest piece of cowardice... that suicide is wrong; when it is quite obvious that there is nothing in the world to which every man has a more unassailable title than to his own life and person. Killing yourself is a major commitment I believe; it takes a kind of courage. Most people just lead lives of cowardly desperation. It's kinda half suicide where you just dull yourself with substances.”

Balthazar froze, his eyes widening. “Castiel what are you saying?”

Castiel loosen his grip on the railing and hanged his arms over the ledge. He heard Balthazar’s feet shuffle quickly towards him, feeling a hand lightly grab the fabric of his shirt.

“We can consciously end our life almost anytime we choose. This ability is an endowment, like laughing and blushing, given to no other animal... in any given moment, by not exercising the option of suicide, we are choosing to live.” Castiel brought his hands towards the rails, putting his foot down, and lifted his head as he pushed himself away from the railing.

He looked at the hand that was holding his shirt then he looked at Balthazar and smiled.

“If I didn’t have a sense of humor, I would have committed suicide a long time ago.” Balthazar farcical expression was hard and unreadable.

“What happen.” He voice was stern, but hey can you blame him? He just saw his baby brother playing Russian roulette with a side railing.

Castiel’s smiled died at the question. “I’ve been having unclean thoughts towards another man.”

Balthazar’s eye twitch at the word unclean it was one of Naomi favorite words to describe Castiel’s sickness. That night years ago really fucked with Castiel mentally; the first year they rescued him from the family Castiel was on suicide watch for months, he was also a flight risk but Anna always seemed to know where he would be; playing his violin on top of a library. He places his hands on Castiel’s shoulders and stared into his eyes, his face pleading.

“Castiel, these feelings your feelings are not unclean. They can’t hurt you. Don’t let the past prevent you from being happy.” Castiel gave him an unconvincing smile.

“They aren’t-” He started until he was cut off by Gabriel’s voice.

“Don’t kid yourself Castiel.” Gabriel was leaning against the doorway with his arms folded across his chest, he didn’t have his normal silly smile on; instead he wore a dark expression.

Castiel adverted his eyes from his stare. He knew he couldn’t lie to him; he was the master of lying. Gabriel walks up to Castiel and pulls his shirt up, exposing his Enochian tattoo on chest, he then pulls up his own, eyeing Balthazar to do the same; exposing the exact same tattoo.

“We didn’t get these just for kicks. When we all got our wings, we were free from them. Not only dose those tattoo remind us of our freedom but so does this one. This one symbolizes that they will never find us again.” Castiel nodded his head, but refused to look at him in the eyes.

He remembers when they all got their wings tattoos; he thought it was silly, childish actually. Gabriel’s had gotten two golden pairs of wings on his back while Castiel and Balthazar got only one pair. Balthazar had brown wings, with a hint of tan at the edges. Castiel’s however, were completely black; at the time he believed himself to be unclean and fallen. But how wrong he was, his wings became more than just ink, more than a reminder of his sickness; they were a symbol of a new, that he was indeed free from them. Gabriel broke his train of thought when he ruffled his hand though hair making it look like he just got his brains fucked out.

“So, no more scares okay?” Castiel looked between a smiling Gabriel and Balthazar and took them both in a hug, no one spoke, it wasn’t needed.


End file.
